Ballad of the Hyde Street Fa= ir

Th= is is about the Hyde Street Faire, an Environmental Fair that was held in San Francisco at the Hyde Street Maritime Museum. There was a night show at the nort= hern Renaissance Faire one year, and Therl, my partn= er in the Houndsditch Thespians, said w= e had to have and act, but it had to be one no one at the Faire had ever seen bef= ore; everyone at the Faire had seen all everyone’s act and wanted something completely different.

It= was after morning progress, and I was in my Guard uniform backstage when I got = the news. I thought what the heck, I’ll write about Hyde Street. So, I piceds a tune, Paddy West’= ;s House and started out.= After a While, Woz came up to me & said, “I hear you’re writing a song about t= he Hyde St. etc. There better be something in there about a six inch fireboat hose connection.” “‘Scuse me,” sez I. = “What exactly is that?” He explained that the S.F. fire department had required Service & Supply to provide a six inch pipe with a connection that a fireboat could connect to = in case there was a fire at the fair. They spent all of their budget on that, a= nd that’s why there were no drinking fountains on that site (answering a complaint of mine at the time!)

I = also have to note, that there is one verse of this which Th= erl refused to sing with me at the time, out of better jud= gement; He was probably right, but I= went ahead anyway. I’ll let = you guess which verse that was.

The Ballad of the Hyde St. Faire

As I walked down through Aqu= atic Park

I = come to the Hyde Street Faire

Th= ey said I could work as a Volunteer

An= d they pumped my hopes up with air

Th= ey gave me some pamphlets to hand to the crowd

An= d a beat up old megaphone

An= d said “Now you can be an actor, too.”

An= d left me all alone.

Pu= t on a striped sailor sweater

An= d lead the crowd in a cheer

Yo= u can tell ‘em that you’re an actor now,

An= d a Hyde Street Volunteer.

No= w when I’d hawked for an hour or two

An= d my voice was getting raw

Th= ey sent me up to the Eureka,

A costume for to draw

Bu= t when I got to the Eureka,

Ca= rolie t= here filled me with awe

Sa= ying, “We don’t have costumes for Volunteers”=

No matter how many you saw!

Do= n’t stand in front of the table

It= ’s cash if you want a beer

Yo= u can tell ‘em that you’re an actor now,

An= d a Hyde Street Volunteer.

The whores were leaning out the window

Ye= lling at the boys

And downstairs the merchants were trying

To= sell their musical toys

Th= at smoke that’s getting into your eyes

It= comes from the Whorehouse too

Bu= t the Fire Scene was an hour ago

Th= ey’re up there smoking BOO!

Ke= ep passing it ‘round in a circle

No smoking out on the pier

Yo= u can tell ‘em you’re an actor now

An= d a Hyde Street Volunteer

Th= e wind was a hundred miles an hour

Bl= owing from the nor’west

And someone has ripped off my hat and my shirt

An= d my coat and my pants and my vest

Bu= t they left me my socks and my underwear

&#= 8216;Cause the temperature’s not getting higher

So= I went to the CHAINLOCKER for a drink

And joined the bitching choir

We= ar all of your costumes together

Ke= ep warm by drinking cold beer

Yo= u can tell ‘em you’re an actor now

An= d a Hyde Street Volunteer

No= w, the services they were well supplied

Fr= om the garbage to the beer

Bu= t I thought that the drinking fountains

We= re positioned rather queer

Th= ey looked a little like shower heads

Wh= en the Marshall gave ‘em inspection

An= d it never rained until I drank

Fr= om a six inch fireboat hose connection

We didn’t need overhead water

We needed overhead beer

Yo= u can tell ‘em you’re a PLUMBER now<= /o:p>

An= d a Hyde Street Volunteer!